ESSENCE V

Why was she by herself? She wasn't clean.

Essence V, Oil on canvas, 24x30in, currently on view at Artomatic, Washington DC.

February 22, 2024

I continue to develop the Essence collection for a couple exhibitions in the spring.

The first piece was exhibited in my solo exhibition last year and resonated with many viewers. I have been in conversations around the viewers’ interpretation of the work at the exhibition or when they reached out to me after reading my reflection about it. It was intriguing to listen to the viewer’s expression when there was little or no explanation from my part. This pleases me as an artist seeing my work spark conversations and reflections. The most satisfying part is still the creative process itself and what it gives me along the way. There’s so much to explore about one’s essence.

As I work on different pieces, I reflect on the path that I’ve been on to discover or rediscover my intrinsic nature. I think about different bodies I’ve been in, from the shape of an infant, a girl, to a teenager, to an adult, and continues to transform with time. Amidst these transformations, something remains constant within. It’s like a tree that once was a seed, a sprout, to a young plant to eventually experience the decline, but in the end it’s still that one specific tree, an orange or pear, that goes through its own life cycle.

I reflect back to many different points in my life to figure out who I was or what I was thinking at a particular time. Working on the Essence V took me back to an event in Vietnam.

My parents were not rich, but my siblings and I were well-provided for. We participated in many extracurricular activities. Mom would take us to plays, movies and events around the city. We watched a lot of international movies. We would occasionally stop by a noodle shop on our way home after watching a movie. One time, while eating at a small shop by the side of the road in the evening, I couldn’t help but notice a girl about my age, eleven or twelve years old, looking at us eating a few meters away.

Why is she by herself? I asked Mom but couldn’t remember her response.

Half of her body was hiding behind the power pole. She wasn’t clean. I occasionally checked on her within my peripheral view while eating with my family. After we got up to leave, I turned around out of curiosity to see if she would move. I saw her went to our table and drank the left-over broth, bowl by bowl. I was confused. I didn’t know how to interpret the incident then, but the image remained.

The event took place in the 80s. It somehow resurfaced in recent months as an invitation for connection and calling to be acknowledged. Working on the Essence project allows me to do just that. I connected with my younger self trying to see what that girl was like. I found a piece of me in her. I recognized my curiosity, my concern for others, and my contemplative tendency from a very young age.

I have witnessed many events and processed many experiences through the years. Only now that I give myself more time to reflect on these events that left lasting images through the painting process. It’s like being on an excavation searching for something and not being sure what I will find at the end but the discovery along the way makes life worth living and sharing.